


Are You Demisexual?

by Hootnana



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst??, Coming Out, Jeno-centric, M/M, Open Ending, Self realization, demi!jeno, it's just them being cute best friends and jeno has a crush, jeno cries for like a split second, mentioned luren, pan!jaemin, they aren't together but you can decide if they get together, this is all about discovering sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-23 22:43:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16627838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hootnana/pseuds/Hootnana
Summary: Jaemin is touchy and it makes Jeno research some things. Which in turn leads to a development in himself





	Are You Demisexual?

Jeno didn't know what to do with himself. He wasn't sure if he liked _liked_  Jaemin or if it was just his teenage hormones talking because of just  _how_  touchy his best friend is. Jeno wasn't even sure of his own sexuality let alone his best friend's. They were only sixteen and Jaemin was touchy with everyone. The younger constantly complimented girls and reminded them just how perfect they are. He stood closer to boys and would give affection if said boy wasn't afraid of society's view of masculinity. Jaemin was especially close with their friends though.  Every sleepover ended up with someone in the arms of Jaemin, most of the time that someone being Jeno.

Jeno observed everything. He viewed how girls would get flustered at some of the pink headed boy's actions. He saw how comfortable boys were around Jaemin. He noticed the love stricken eyes from both genders from afar, never daring to actually confess. Worst of all, he saw teachers gushing over how cute a couple a girl would be with him and the disgusted looks when Jaemin was too touchy with a boy. It somehow bothered Jeno.

Jaemin was never bothered by any of this. Jeno knew that the boy was aware of what people thought about him. The older was actually the one to rant to him about all of this one stressed out night, but the only response he got was  _'I know.'_ That night was also the night Jeno researched different types of sexuality. He didn't really know his reason why. He wanted to know if it was a common occurrence to be attracted to a person that wasn't a female. Jeno's thought his curiosity wasn't for himself; he was thinking about how Jaemin could be feeling.

The normal was being a heterosexual. You never needed to come out because everyone expects you to be attracted to the other gender. Jeno wasn't sure if he was apart of the normal anymore. He was looking all that up for Jaemin, but the more he saw the more he thought about himself. After researching, he looked back on any crushes he had. He did have that one girlfriend in third grade who gave him chocolate on Valentine's Day. Thinking about it now, Jeno remembered that the girl told him they were dating and he simply went along with it. A few weeks later, she announced to the whole third grade class they broke up after another boy bought her a soft plush bear. Everyone had turned curiously to Jeno. That girl didn't tell him beforehand that they broke up. He wasn't bothered though; it was a little embarrassing, but he barely liked the girl anyway.

Jeno panics when he can't think of any other girl. He never experienced any crushes that he can think of. There has to be one, right? How could he not have liked anyone in his sixteen years of life? Jeno sighs because now Jaemin is plaguing his mind again. He seems so comfortable with living the way he does. Jeno is anything but.

The days go on with Jeno examining things with a more open mind. He was hyper aware of everything Jaemin did. One day a gay couple came out. It was two of the more known basketball players. They came out on their own which made Jeno sigh in relief because he'd never wish for anyone to be forced into coming out. There was some backlash, but Jaemin openly supported them making quite a few people back off. Jaemin was considered popular, but he never abused the powers that come with it. Jeno always thought Jaemin deserved the world for being so kind to everyone, but the younger told him he deserved the world instead.

Jeno is confused still. He isn't necessarily gay,bi, or straight. He knows a little about the other possibilities, but the most known ones don't apply to him. One day he discovers demisexual. Renjun came out to them as demi when he started dating an upperclassman, Lucas. Chenle immediately questioned what it was, but Renjun wasn't upset or surprised that they didn't know what it was. As soon as he explains, something clicks in Jeno's brain. It seemed appropriate for how Jeno felt. The person he was kind of sure he liked was someone he'd been best friends with for years. They've been through it all since the young age of eight. Jaemin was one of the few people he had a connection with. Later, he tested it on his tongue, feeling the weight of the word in the confinements of his bedroom. After doing a little more research to see more in depth, it definitely felt right.

He doesn't come out though. Coming out would make it apparent that he liked someone he was close with or at least used to. Jaemin would be confused because they tell each other everything.  _Everything except for the subject of sexuality._  Jeno becomes happier though. He felt more free not having the confusion of not knowing why he didn't feel anything for all those pretty girls and even boys. He only needed one pretty boy, but that boy wasn't his.

Life felt different. It felt free at first, but now he felt guilty for not telling anyone about what felt like a huge part of him now. Jeno thought about coming out to one person. The thing about telling anyone anything is that it always gets out somehow. All they had to do was tell one person and it would spread. Coming out to Renjun wouldn't be so bad, but he would no doubt tell Lucas and then it would definitely spread with his big mouth. The puppy-like boy wouldn't mean harm by it, but he rambles on and on and things get out with him not even realizing it. Jeno's parents were a possibility, but they also weren't. Coming out to your parents could literally ruin your life. He never really thought about if they were conservative or not, but it just seemed like a given in Korea. It might be 2018 but a lot of people's mindsets are still stuck in the older times.

\--

The last thing he wanted happened. It's been about two months since he started identifying as demi, but he decided to research more. He wasn't uncomfortable with the idea, but he wanted to figure out the perfect way to come out to someone. He could do it the way Renjun did, but it seemed easier for people if you come out with a special someone. Jeno doesn't have anyone special. That's when he starts breaking down. His lap top screen lit sniffling features in the dark room when his door flies open. Jeno frantically looks up, frightened, to see the shocked face of his best friend. Time seemed to go slower when Jaemin hesitantly walked forward to Jeno. Another sob erupts from Jeno when the younger put his hand on Jeno's back. Jaemin starts rubbing his back when he glances to the laptop. Jeno freezes realizing that Jaemin can very well see the screen displaying big, bold letters forming the title of the article he was reading.

_**Are You Demisexual?** _

Jeno is so close to slamming the laptop shut and running away from his best friend, but Jaemin is the one to lightly close the dreaded thing. Jaemin didn't ask questions, instead prompting his best friend to lay down. They faced each other with a few sniffles still echoing from Jeno. Jaemin calmly held his hand rubbing circles into his knuckles. Jeno stares at their intertwined hands to calm himself down. He doesn't want to look into the beautiful eyes that belong to Na Jaemin. Those orbs were so easy to get lost in. Jeno calmed a few minutes later. Jaemin speaks up at the right time when the silence starts to make Jeno more uncomfortable than comforted.

"Jeno, do you think you're something that's not straight,"

Jeno can tell Jaemin is treading lightly, not knowing if this is a new discovery or not. The silence engulfs them again, but Jaemin doesn't prod Jeno for an answer. The older finally looks up to find Jaemin already staring at him. Jeno takes a deep breath.

"It's not I think, it's I know,"

Jaemin hums and squeezes Jeno's hand.

"Well, I support you no matter what you are Jeno and I would hope you already knew that,"

"I did,"

Jeno glances back at their hands and decides to keep the conversation going.

"Jaemin, are you something that's not straight?"

The smile that graces Jaemin's face is gorgeous and Jeno's heart strains over just how beautiful his best friend is.

"I'm pan without a plan my dude,"

This elicits loud laughing from both of them.

Everything was fine. Jaemin didn't ask him how he knew. He didn't prod on the subject, neither did Jeno. It wasn't a big deal. Jeno allows himself to tell the rest of their friends his own sexuality the next day and Jaemin repeated his pun earning laughing and a groan from Jisung.

Jeno could wait to tell Jaemin about his feelings. Everything felt right at the moment and ruining it with emotions didn't seem like a bright idea. Jeno was just happy that he could be out to the people that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to a very soft playlist and it inspired the hell out of me. I hope you enjoyed !


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